Meet the Jellybean...

I'd like to introduce you all to our little Jellybean! I'm 10 weeks along today, and I'm due July 13, 2009.

(Aren't the little toes at the top adorable?!)

Breaking the News to the Grandparents-To-Be

So this was the night we went to my parent's house to tell them that they were going to be grandparents! I had already had it planned out for years in my head how we were going to tell them, and was soooo excited for the opportunity! I went to Target and bought some cute little sockies (couldn't find booties that I loved), and wrapped one pair for Mom to open and the other for Dad. We went to their house with an alibi of having to return their chairs to them, and that we were on "that side of town" to go look at furniture at RC Willey so we'd just "stop by." I don't really think they suspected anything was up, so that was even better! Although as soon as I made them each sit down at the dinner table, they must have known something was going on, hehe. So we handed them each their package, told them to open them at the same time, then watched their faces as the "NO WAY" look appeared. It was awesome! Of course, Mom started bawling, and Dad insisted that he knew that's why we were coming over. My husband snuck in the champagne and sparkling cider we had brought, then we all celebrated! It was so amazing to live that long dreamed of moment... it was just as special as I had imagined.

Oh, Exhaustion

I'm sooooo tired!!! Gah.

I had such aspirations yesterday and today of working out. I really did! I packed my gym bag and put it in the truck, which is my way of really dedicating myself to the plan. I declared to myself several times throughout the day that "I am going to go work out after work!" And then, slowly but surely as the day wears on, I'm SOOOOO EXHAUSTED that I honestly consider the probability of me passing out right in the middle of my shimmying and hip-rolling.

"That would be bad," I say, so I better go home and rest.

Point of the story? Bed can't come soon enough. Ever. I love it. I fantasize about it all day. I can't WAIT to crawl in at the end of the day.

It might just be the one thing I love right now more than food, hehe! ;)

In fact...

(Hmm... maybe I don't have to wait for husband to get home and cook dinner... maybe I can just go straight to sweet, blissful bed... oh yeah, baby... here I come... )

A Weighty Issue

Gah. My pants are getting tighter around my tummy already. Maybe just pregnancy bloat? I know the baby is the size of a raspberry, so it's not like he's needing too much extra room right now. But I swear to God, my stomach is already pooching out. I've needed new jeans in a baaaad way for some time now, but I'll be damned if I'm going to buy maternity clothes at only 2 (almost 3) months preggo. My pride can't handle it. My girlfriend says I should just suck it up and buy a pair of maternity jeans since I'll have to in a bit anyways. I had to point out that just like she refuses to buy any jeans labeled above a size 10/11, I refuse to buy maternity pants this early on. Truth be told, I'd loooove to be in comfortable maternity clothes right now. But if anyone were to see that belly band and ask how far along I am, then give me the "oh really?!" face when I tell them, I'd likely die of embarrassment.

That's really bad, isn't it?


It doesn't help when I go see my skinny-ass cousin-in-law at Thanksgiving who is 2 months farther along than I am and has barely a little tummy bulge going on. She says her clothes are just now becoming limited.

Hello! My name is Sarah and I feel like a beast next to you.

And then one of my co-workers keeps asking if I'm going to lose (yes, LOSE) weight during pregnancy. She's pointed out several people that have lost all sorts of weight (60 lbs, are you freaking kidding me?!) during their pregnancy. I especially love how she throws in the obligatory "Oh, but I'm not suggesting that you NEED to lose weight!" I responded that I'm going to do whatever my doctor tells me is healthy. Quite the concept, eh?

I can tell you this much... I know I'm not going to LOSE weight during pregnancy. In fact, I know I've already gained a few pounds. And I know I'm not going to be the woman that gains 100 lbs because I'm "eating for 2 at Taco Bell every night." (Well, shit. I suppose I don't really "know" exactly how things will turn out.) But I do know what I don't want to happen, and I'm going to try with all my might to make good decisions as often as possible.

I just want a healthy, happy pregnancy! I don't want people to negatively judge my pregnancy in comparison to their own. I want to hear amazing stories, advice and encouragement!

Not too much to ask for, right?

Big News!

Now that the last post is out of the way, time for the big exciting news...

I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!

I'm 8 weeks today! (I think)... My first doctor appointment is on December 9th (1 week from tomorrow!). It's my husband and my first child, and we're so excited! I've been online reading and calculating and I think that my due date will be July 13, 2008.

It's so exciting and so special. I've wanted this for soooo long, and I thought I'd have to wait for years and years! My husband and I are both 26, have been dating for 8 1/2 years, have been married since June of 2008. Anytime he was asked by anyone about having kids, his response was either "I'd be happy never having kids" or "Yeah, in about 20 years." Riiiiight. 20 years when I'm going through menopause? Great. So talk about surprised when I came home one night in the beginning of October to find that my husband had thrown my birth control away. Yes! Thrown away! As in, in the garbage! He made sure to tell me that this didn't mean we needed to start trying right away. Ha! That comment didn't hold up too well in the bedroom that night, or the next night, or the following weeks after. Now in retrospect, he honestly didn't believe it would happen so quickly... he thought it was going to take months and months! All that talk about getting the pill out of your system and such. I wasn't sure either... it could have turned out that we had fertility problems or something like that. So as much as I wanted it to happen right away, I didn't believe it would either. I probably took 20 pregnancy tests, all of which came back negative. Then on Friday morning of November 7th (four days after my last negative test), I was still wondering when that wonderful Aunt Flo would come to visit, so I took another test. This one was going to be just the same as the others... I really didn't look at it, just set it aside while I turned on the shower. Then I saw the test line showing up. Am I losing my mind? It's too early in the morning and my eyes are just fuzzy. I'm imagining things. But no... it got darker and darker. HOLY SHIT!!!! NO WAY, NO FREAKING WAY. I grabbed another test immediately, and sure enough that one was positive too.

So here I am! Pregnant! I can't wait to go see the doctor next Tuesday. That's when we'll know if everything is healthy and going well. We should be able to see and hopefully hear the heartbeat. We'll maybe get to find out if it's twins or not (my husband and I both have twins in our families).

SOOOOO EXCITING!!

I can't wait to blog about it all as I go. I know my husband gets a little sick of hearing "all pregnancy, all the time" so this way I can divert some of it here.

A Step in the Right Direction

I've been avoiding this blog.

Back in August, I needed somewhere to spew my emotional hurricane. This was the place. Anonymous, therefore I could be nothing but totally honest. And I was, and it felt great. But now, several months later, I'm looking to move on from all that. I need to let go of that negativity to embrace the wonder that is unfolding in my life! So I logged back in and re-read all my previous blogs. I got to re-live the hurt, anger and betrayal for a few minutes, get lost a bit in the memories, and then purge it all by pressing the dreaded DELETE IT button. Ugh. I wish I was more knowledgeable about blogging. I'm sure there's a way to hide certain posts rather than delete them, but if there is a way I don't know of it. So I deleted them. It's a little sad. They were so raw and so heartfelt. There were so few times I truly got to vent uncensored. Oh well. I think it had to happen for me to move on (in this blog, at least). It's not like the memories are gone... unfortunately there is not DELETE IT button in my mind. Luckily though, they fade to the back of my mind a little more each day, allowing me to let go and move on.

So now I'm back... though, the jury is still out on what exactly "back" means. :) I've never been a dedicated blogger, but I'm going to try, because there are amazing things happening in my life and I want to share them!

It feels good to move on...